Communication over Manipulation
It is one thing to get a man to meet your needs by trying to manipulate him, But the real secret lies in your wisdom and your ability to communicate effectively and in ways that determines that he not only hears but also listens and puts into action what you have said.
For example, when he asks what’s wrong,
A simple (Answer (a): ” I wasn’t happy with what you said” and then going further to tell him his exact words
Is more likely to get him to not say it again than (Answer (b): “I can’t believe you said that! I have never been this insulted in my life! I know my Ex was bad but at-least he never disrespected me like this! What did I ever do to you to deserve this? Why me? Did I ever do anything wrong in loving you? Why would you use such words to describe someone you claim you love? Didn’t you realize it would hurt me? Why did you say that to me? Wait.. Do you even love me?… Hol’ up sister!!! Did you just accuse him of not loving you, call him a liar and then drag your Ex into the conversation?… Please be reminded that whatever you feed a mans head is what his mind will conceive.. So when you constantly accuse a man of not loving you, what you are doing is convincing him that he doesn’t. So the more you say “you don’t love me” is the more he’ll question if he actually does love you.. Moving on, I know there are times when you feel that it’s necessary to voice the issue and that’s okay, but you should only attempt it when you are calm. Have that conversation with yourself first before approaching him, because even though he might be your baby or your boo or your sweetheart, or sugar boy or whatever it is you call him, the fact still remains that he’s a Man! and men don’t like being put in a situation where they feel like they are being attacked. Especially when if he doesn’t see that he is guilty of what he is being accused of.
I’m not saying don’t address issues when he’s wrong, I’m saying put your emotions in your other purse and carry your wisdom with you.
And try as much as you can to only have the talk once, yes… I said ONCE. Any more than that and you enter nagging
Remember, a relationship with healthy communication is a relationship that’s sure to pass the test of time.